First some background. For those of you who’ve yet to figure it out, Nofirefrog (Of HIH fame), who posts comments on this site under the “pseudonym” of Jason, and I go to the same college. Since he lives in some skanky Freshman dorm (that’s what he gets for transferring from LaTech), he’s often over at my apartment doing… stuff. (Usually clogging up my tubes with his pr0n Mythica downloads or XBL. As such, he has access to my computer.
Secondly, I’m a moderator over at High Impact Halo, so I randomly get messages on AIM (AIM seems to be the one most used, as you can send a message over the chatterwebz without the need for the recipient confirming you as a friend) asking something like, “Hey could you close this thread?” or “Hay, WTF wuz mah 7r3@d cl0zed, dud?” You brighter readers out there may see where this is going…
As I’m infamous for leaving my Trillian open, Jason has been known to respond to them for me (although, I’m usually always around, doing homework or shit). One particular time lead to extreme lulz, which shall be recounted here.
This first part was when he was talking to the person on the other end. I was standing behind him giving “suggestions” to increase the lulz factor:
Him: yo
Him: im the kid whos topic you locked
Him: how old is that?
Him: ..
Me: ZuP created his thread on the 29th of November
Me: September*
Him: oo ok
Him: well did you figure out why its like that?
Him: and how did u get to be a moderator?
Me: Server side error on the former quest
Him: ?
Me: 1337 h4x and magic on the latter
Him: lol
Me: Man, my typing is terrible today, it’s as though I’m not myself
Him: how did u get to be a mod
Me: Dude, I don’t cheat
Me: :P
Him: wow, moderator
Me: yeah, I know.. hence, yes hence, the smile
Him: i no i no
Me: I yes I yes
Me: :P
Him: holy shit dude lolz
Me: I’m quite funny
Him: lol
Him: will u register on my forum?
Him: forum.halouniverse.org
Me: want me to be honest?
Him: no
Me: brutally honest
Him: u wont register
Him: yea ok
Me: No, I’ll register, but that’d be the last time I ever visit
Him: y
Me: most likely
Him: lol y
Me: Hell dude, I barely remember to check HIH
Him: ….
Me: jk
Me: or am I?
Me: >.>
Him: how can i get my site to look better?
Me: I don’t really do site design
Me: I’m not good at those kinds of things
Me: shit, my socks don’t even match
Me: wait, no
Me: they do
Me: do you require any more of my services
Me: ?
Me: but seriously, I didn’t set out to become a mod, I just kind of got picked
Me: I guess I did something right
Me: Good day, Sir
Him: lol
Me: I told you I don’t mod… I don’t know about this terminology…. crazy kids
Him: wtf, r u rlly 19?
Me: Dude, I don’t even see a single word in that “statement”
Him: …
Me: ‘you’re using numbers and shit’
Him: lol omg wtf h4x mb?
Me: seriously, you better not be hacking my megahurtz
Him: LOL
Me: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!
Him: mega hurts
Me: leprachauns on lemurs?
Him: leps
Me: Larry of Lithuania?
Me: Like Ovulllary Libel?
Him: …?
Me: “lol”… what does it mean?
Him: u really dont know?
Me: I told you, I don’t cheat/mod/hack
Him: laugh out loud.
Me: You’re joshing me
Me: straight up
Him: \stop fucking with me
Me: Wait, what?
Me: there is no sexual innuendo here, friend
Him: your messing with my head LOL
Him: LLMAO
Me: Llama… it’s spelled llama
Him: Laughing my ass off…
Me: why would you want to do?
Me: how do you poop?
Him: do what?
Him: Out my mouth
Me: is that, like a metaphor or something?
Him: no
Him: i dont have an ass man
Him: Its a long story
Me: let me guess, you “laughed” it off?
Him: kinda
Him: morel ike a 3 hour long giggle
Me: how did you breathe?
Me: seiously
Me: Like, inhaling is important
Me: very important
Him: out my….ears
Me: now, it is you who is the one to be “fucking” with me
Him: No I dont fuck men
Me: Um, ok…. I didn’t bring up the “fuck” talk
Me: its you kids that always talk about “stick it in the pooper…”
Me: you’re weirding me out
Him: LOL wow
Me: I’m no longer comfortable with this converstation
Me: conversation*
Him: kk
Me:_
Me: you realize I was just kidding… right?
Me: just messing around with you
Me: This isn’t even galador
Me: I’m just that pro
Me: n00bs and their open programs
Me: fuck, I need to go…
Me: he’s coming
Me: shit, shit
Me: shit
Me: shit
Me: What the hell am I to do?
Me: I hope there isn’t a keygen
Me: quick, where does trillian normally save logs
Me: I need to get rid of this
Me: fuyck, shit
Him: wow
Him: dude
Him: fucking wow
Me: Oh damn
Me: dude, you never talked to me
Me: NEVER
Him: kk
Me: he will so kick my ass
Me: thanks man
Me: I owe you
Me: g2g
Me: ;)
At this point, Jason stepped away from the computer, and I actually took over typing. The dramatic end to our prank come hence:
Him: yo
Him: oyy
Him: o
Him: yo
Him: yo
Him: yo
Me: Hey, what’s up?
Me: How may I help you?
Him: who is this
Him: LOL, how did u become a mod?
Me: … galador
Him: ?
Me: I do hope you AIM’d me for a reason
Him: yes….
Him: but nvm
Him: i was just talking to some other dude on this aim
Him: so im confuesd
Me: … WHAT?!?
Me: What did he say…
Him: well, where u the 1 being a smartass? and saying.. I dont know what LOL means?
Me: No, man. I just got back from a meeting with a study group
Me: Was that asshole on my AIM again?
Me: >_>
Him: ur bro?
Me: No, my roomate…
Me: Soon to be ex-roomate… I’m going to kill his ass
Him: NO DONT
Him: he said not to tell ne 1 i talked to him
Him: I thought it was u messign with me and testing me
Him: but i really had to know
Me: Kill him in a metaphorical sense, of course.
Him: …lol
Me: He told you not ot say anything?
Me: That sonuvabitch
Him: dont kill him
Me: …
Me: Anyways. You needed something?
Him: just wondering why u locked my topic
Him: Now I know though
Him: so yea
Me: Allright, then.
Me: Glad I could… Help?
Him: lol pm pm
Him: thanks and
Him: dude
Him: dont kill ur roomate
Me: Alright. Later, man.
Fairly epic, eh? ;)